26 October 2009

Dear Professor, thank you for normalizing my anxiety. You don't know how much it means that I actually believe you, and that you don't scoff at medical treatment either. You probably do know, but I am grateful to feel understood and taken seriously in a sane way.

I often wish my professors were my mothers, because my mom is scared of me and has thought things were wrong with me since I was three years old and angrily claims I am sick and she does not have the same feelings I do when she gets stressed out. I like educated people more, I am sorry to say, no matter how bad things get that is what I hold on to. I can't give up because I haven't thought good enough things yet. I am not dependent and will not show up at your door to talk without having definitive questions, I am just really glad you caught this one.

*editor's note - w's mom didn't believe in hormonal birth control and knocked herself up in second year university, the july after getting married on reading week.

3 comments:

Soren Lorensen said...

saaaaaadddddd

(I said that sort of in the voice of a cat)

thesundaygap said...

Sounds like you've got a good one, w. Your professor, that is. I found great comfort in a few of my professors as well - an authority figure that treats you like a peer where appropriate can mean an awful lot. It's also great to have interactions with people that aren't predicated on a History.
I'm upset about your mom, though. You should paint a little "not helpful" sign to hold up as a silent reminder when she hurts you. Or at least that's what the comic strip version of you should do.
Internet hugs!

Wrenna said...

every day i thank heavens for my internet friends... who show me how to be kind :)

my mom doesn't get that she comes across as harsh sometimes. i say that if anyone else said this stuff it would not be okay, she however is my mom. i always extend most sincere thanks to the cool people i meet who are able to extend themselves in this way and enable a bit of fantastical idealization.