26 October 2009

Dear Professor, thank you for normalizing my anxiety. You don't know how much it means that I actually believe you, and that you don't scoff at medical treatment either. You probably do know, but I am grateful to feel understood and taken seriously in a sane way.

I often wish my professors were my mothers, because my mom is scared of me and has thought things were wrong with me since I was three years old and angrily claims I am sick and she does not have the same feelings I do when she gets stressed out. I like educated people more, I am sorry to say, no matter how bad things get that is what I hold on to. I can't give up because I haven't thought good enough things yet. I am not dependent and will not show up at your door to talk without having definitive questions, I am just really glad you caught this one.

*editor's note - w's mom didn't believe in hormonal birth control and knocked herself up in second year university, the july after getting married on reading week.


Soren Lorensen said...


(I said that sort of in the voice of a cat)

thesundaygap said...

Sounds like you've got a good one, w. Your professor, that is. I found great comfort in a few of my professors as well - an authority figure that treats you like a peer where appropriate can mean an awful lot. It's also great to have interactions with people that aren't predicated on a History.
I'm upset about your mom, though. You should paint a little "not helpful" sign to hold up as a silent reminder when she hurts you. Or at least that's what the comic strip version of you should do.
Internet hugs!

Wrenna said...

every day i thank heavens for my internet friends... who show me how to be kind :)

my mom doesn't get that she comes across as harsh sometimes. i say that if anyone else said this stuff it would not be okay, she however is my mom. i always extend most sincere thanks to the cool people i meet who are able to extend themselves in this way and enable a bit of fantastical idealization.