19 October 2009

There is a research study that I may be able to participate in. I hope so, because I am interested in the thing that they are investigating. And because I may have found a way to, if not receive prints, view a picture of my brain! (The picture is a longstanding wish.)

7 comments:

Soren Lorensen said...

cool!

p.s. I have you a blog award (it is over at my blog)

Soren Lorensen said...

*gave

was what I meant, although have kind of works too

Wrenna said...

thanks! you must type very fast.

thesundaygap said...

I was going to do the same thing! How I would love a photo of the insides of my head.

Wrenna said...

I don't think it's going to work out, I don't think I am psychotic enough. If you think you are e-mail me for the details.

I got all the akathesia and social repercussions, none of the misery, hallucinating, or world-dominating brilliance. You at least do that thing that smart depressed people do, picking apart their feelings with the most elegant masochism; I don't even have complex emotions to pick apart. I feel ripped off. I miss being smart. My diagnosis is like, "it's subtle, but there's something off about you (aside from, you stopped taking your medication last spring and insisted on essentially walking off the resulting paranoid and delusional thinking, twit)."

thesundaygap said...

I found out about the study from a customer who is working on it as a research assistant. He suggested I could participate as part of the control group.
As a "normal".
Which tickled me to no end - most intriguing was the possibility to (finally, and accidentally!) discover something physically abnormal about myself. I don't quite know if I'm looking for an explanation or a schtick.
As far as "it's subtle, but there's something off about you" diagnosis, take heart. I live in constant fear that people are thinking but not saying that about me. You seem to have the guts not only to own it as a result of a conscious decision you've made, but to talk to people about it.
Which makes you pretty alright in my book.

Wrenna said...

I wonder what is going on when I feel like I am making perfectly normal, unobtrusive conversation with my classmates or family members and they totally withdraw. I always tell myself that people are busy, other people are tired and have anxiety too, maybe I was getting too personal, but I still feel like I don't fit and worry I'm getting paranoid/a mixed state/a maladjusted personality going on. I'm glad you have days with the boys and with the girls, and with your art supplies to hang on to you.