06 January 2010

introspection: i practically don't know how. my favourite writers do, that's why they are my favourite - they fill a missing space. i tend to ruminate, and behaving like a quadrupedal beast is not good for my mental health. i am so relieved not to be depressed; i am relieved every day that i am not, and that my memory continues to serve, and that i feel like a part of the world. being lost takes me many places, but it does not meaning make.

7 comments:

Soren Lorensen said...

I am glad for you

wrenna said...

thank you. i guess the thing is, i always feel like an idiot around these attractively introspective people. i value simplicity, but i love complexity and want to nurture some for myself.

Mad Bird said...

Ha! I introspect waaaaayyyyy too much! EVERYONE tells me I think too much, including my mother, very often. But it's how I hold conversations with myself, because I prefer to be alone, and I don't like silence. I'm constantly thinking/talking/"introspecting"/contemplating. Always. Nonstop. Never an end. Unless, of course, I'm distracted, such as watching a movie or reading. I analyze (and judge) far too much, too, as a result. But it keeps me busy. It's not hard for me to avoid boredom.

But I'm NOT "attractively introspective." I seem antisocial, or lost-in-my-own-world. Or staring at people. You wouldn't feel like an idiot around me, that's for sure. I'm the idiot, the social one. I am absolutely socially inept, unless I'm around people I know well and am comfortable with. It's horrid. And my sister is SO social. And she gets jealous when I have good grades and she doesn't, but she doesn't get it - she has other things that I never WILL have, like a natural understanding of social cues, lots of friends, easy charm...

wrenna said...

you are very critical ;)

i dated a man whose father was a minister. i think i thought he was jesus because of this kind of awareness he had. i was jealous of him and all the thoughts that got to spend time with him. anyhow.

you're easy to talk to, and that's a nice thing.

wrenna said...

meeting him convinced me i am stupid and now i can't get over it!

Mad Bird said...

Well, you are NOT, and that is a fact, miss Wrenna!

You're just going to have to get over it. :)

wrenna said...

oh but once you get a taste of real smartness...

i am going to practice being more critical.