24 July 2010

for one afternoon I had a Persian boyfriend. we had drinks and then went to a secret restaurant. "we could stay up all night," he said. we were having a really fun time. he was tall, broad shouldered, and completely serious. I had not sorted out any kind of relationship between sex and my feelings. I was seeing someone else, although our relationship felt loose and complicated. it was a courtship, it was painful and worry-filled. I talked to him as a friend. I called my boyfriend and went home. the next time I saw him, months later, he invited me to a wedding. all boundaries in one place, few hard lines in the other. looking back it might have been a missed opportunity, but he had lied to me and my trust was at best faltering. I needed to say no then, and he was leaving at the end of the summer.

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