07 April 2011

Today my doctor asked how long it had been since I'd felt the spark of an idea. "Before medication?" "Yes."

9 comments:

Boris Kane said...

that is unfortunate

wrenna said...

but the antidepressant is effective against psychosis. depression slowed me down pretty good too. I stopped thinking logically and therefore much at all.

Boris Kane said...

well then i would like to retract my previous statement. the benefits certainly do outweigh

wrenna said...

for a while I took only the antipsychotic because I believed I thought better, but then I got so fed up I gave up drugs entirely and relapsed.

I got sent to this sort of 24 hour care facility that was absolutely awful (my bed smelled like pee, they gave me medication that caused terrifying stiffness and numbness in my legs and light sensitivity that hurt my eyes, other patients were walking around cross-eyed due to medication and yelling on the phone about god all day, I thought I was going to get cancer from all the second hand smoke and that is not even to mention the food) running away during the day to meet with a red headed professor and work in a little cubicle at the library an hour and a half away. I couldn't sleep at night for weeks and got severe breast pain from my prolactin level shooting up - to which the medical response was slow. meanwhile I was still terrified I had cancer, sexually transmitted diseases, and an iud that had been inserted in me while I was knocked unconscious by medicine the last time I was in the hospital, so much I couldn't really think of anything else. the day before my last appointment with my much-loved psychologist I said I was leaving, and luckily it was the sort of place that allowed that. I shouldn't have stayed so long.

the spark was worth the trouble.

wrenna said...

I blame the lack of spark on impaired working memory.

Boris Kane said...

thats one helluva journey youve got there

Factory Supervisor said...

..that knocked me back for six..

wrenna said...

what do you mean? did you miss the part about how I got sent to a neuropsychologist who was a sex offender? psychiatry is low on excellence.

Factory Supervisor said...

I mean, I am amazed with what you have endured and what you have dealt with..
and how you are now on the other side looking back at some horrific events.

you have overcome a great deal.

nothing excellent, apart from you & your own strength.