30 June 2011

For a summer drink I like lemonade with bourbon in it. You can make it simple, with the juice from half a lemon and some simple syrup, and light, with half an ounce of bourbon. Sometimes I like to put other fruit in - halved cherries, or raspberries and mint, muddled - and strong, with one and a half ounces of bourbon. Ice cubes are important. So is fizzy water to top off.
Angelina Jolie ist eine sehr begehrenswert Schauspielerin.

(trying to memorize begehrenswert - desirable)

29 June 2011

My goldfish is such a character. There he was in the pet store, a lone tie-dyed fantail amongst red-cap orandas, doing his own thing; I never would have suspected. He likes to heave his body sideways over the floating plants in his bowl (a cruel enclosure, perhaps, but if you saw the crowding in the pet store...), and he doesn't blow bubble rafts, so I've decided he is a boy after all. He wiggles really fast when I walk into the room, the greeting is fantastic, and he doesn't mind the cat using his bowl as a water feature to drink from and play in, which is also fortunate. What's more relaxing to look at than a goldfish? Someone take me to The Brickyard so I can drink Buffalo Trace on special and look at the entire room of goldfish around the bar.
This morning my mom was telling me what to do. It was a stream of things so constant I can't even remember them all. Then it was all, "What happens if you fail the German class, will you get kicked out of university?" "I am not going to fail the class, and if I did my average would still be high enough to prevent me failing out of university. It is my dream to learn German." Then she asked me to speculate on the weather, which I hate, because how should I know? She's such a little rain cloud. She goes beserk if you tell her that.
Ich bereite mich auf die Wortschatz Prüfung vor und lerne viele neue Wörter.

I e-mail my Omi little sentences and she corrects them.

28 June 2011

I did the Hausaufgaben that absolutely needed to be finished first and felt much better. I am prioritizing and taking concrete steps to get tasks done a little at a time.

27 June 2011

popping clonazapam (a sedative) like House pops vicodin.
lazy lazy lazy.
It felt really good to nap, mit dem Kater, this afternoon.
I rarely want to pull myself up out of bed to go scoop cat poop and scrub out last night's dishes at the cat shelter (least of all when I have woken at four am and already had a couple hours of purring back to sleep), but when I do this thing that I in all rationality do not want to do I feel better. Today I visited with some shy cats shocked to find themselves in such shabby surroundings. If in the morning as I walk I feel as though I can't breathe, when I am paw to paw with a wide-eyed tabby face I feel at peace in the world. I regularly do things that are boring and menial for a little bit of peace.

24 June 2011

this loneliness crap is like mould. I get lonely when I'm feeling time-pressured.
early morning nightmares about steak and inscrutable medieval maps.

22 June 2011

lonely today.

19 June 2011

Much family love today. My grandma got caught up in trying to do and correct my German exercises ("Opi is not going to leave without me he doesn't have the keys!") and my sister seems to have been titrated to a state in which she is nice to me. She offered to let me sleep at her house after my late night class and I made her some special tea in my favourite mug (so it could be quality controlled).

18 June 2011

oh what a find
Nowadays my dad tells me over a beer after work that next week will involve numerous stressful challenges. When I was young he worked workaholic hours, never owned his own house and never admitted anything was less than good. My mom did all the therapy over this. Now he tells me he's been bragging to other customers in the grocery store about how his daughter taught him how to choose produce. He announces "teamwork" over dinner prep and fires up the barbeque as I pick watercress and outline my timeline for the potatoes. He hugs me a lot. His sweat smells like pee and I worry about him suddenly dying. Overall he's turned into a pretty good dad.

17 June 2011

more feedback, more cat snuggles, more tea, more time at the library.

16 June 2011

I knew it was going to be a hard day when I was craving hard liquor at noon.
I e-mailed a prof asking for help and became so anxious waiting for a response I decided to ingest extra of my carcinogenic, (literally) brain-shrinking chemicals in order to not feel like I was losing my mind. A mess of my own creation.

15 June 2011

I believe in workers' rights but right now I wish that all my stuff in the mail were in my hands instead.

14 June 2011

I am really nervous about going to the archives tomorrow! Gathering data has been completely overwhelming.

12 June 2011

got the most awesome cream silk scarf with a bird embroidered in the center of it and little tassles that hang down in rivulets over my shoulders. unforts it is stained over one corner. I had to flatten each one of its tassels with a steam straightening iron made for human hair.

11 June 2011

... waking up early, making panforte and plum puff pancake, making a sweater with music on, repotting plants, reading for research and museum work, making a place for the cat to sit and look out the window so that he can pretend he is outside... busy but very much alone.

10 June 2011

... and along came kale, chard, red leaf lettuce and asian stir fry greens.

08 June 2011

Made some zucchini bread today. It bubbled up and into the oven. It refused to come out of the pan. It is moist and delicious; it is one hot mess.
Talk about instant gratification: my arugula and salad mix have already sprouted up in little green rows. Watercress seeds are quick sprouters also.

05 June 2011

I think I got toxic shock syndrome today. I need to finish this paper before one of its incipient illnesses kills me.
Dieser Morgen ich ruhte mich aus mit meinem Katze. Er schlief. Ich schlich mich ihn auf, dann spähte er uber seines Pfote die Kamera an. Schnuckelig!
When I wake up at five thirty am and the sun is shining in the day feels like it is going to last forever. This morning I read the most recent Acne Paper, which had been sitting around for ages. It was cold so I lay on the couch wrapped in a furry blanket and the cat put his paw on my nose. I gave him a little pat on the nose back and he purred then shook his head.

04 June 2011

It was a good day for getting all of my little green babies in the ground.

03 June 2011

I am experimenting with allowing my cat to choose his own flavour of wet food. He currently likes two different flavours in two different coloured cans; I hope that he is not blue-yellow colour blind and can learn to recognize the difference between them. This morning he chowed down with especial enthusiasm on herring-flavoured cat mush, but it may just have been that I took a long time to wake up and he was very hungry.
My little tomato plants are growing up! I got a San Marzano tomato plant for free because it was ailing out front of the shop and even this smallest one of my charges has greened up and branched out. Also, it was a good day for planting peas.

02 June 2011

Ich will Morgen mit meinem Forschungsprojekt weitermachen.

01 June 2011

I did not know that tea was such a seasonal crop. Many teas are first harvested in May and the flavour of such tea is brighter and creamier when it is fresh.