31 August 2012

woot woot! 92% and an A+ for my History major's seminar (the Anne Carson paper). This is also the class for which I got to e-mail a MacArthur Fellow about what he liked for dinner.
It is the Friday before Labour Day and I am experiencing my first taste of vacation freedom. Actually no. I am bundled up because it is cold outside and am experiencing guilt that I have not finished my paper on the Indian Village in the city park. My mom wants to go out as part of her depression treatment plan. The weather forecast shows the possibility of heat for Tuesday.

29 August 2012

Have finished the cover letters... best I could do I guess, just hoping it's not too late!
I'm not sure I had enough to brag about on my resumé... on to the cover letters this evening. I am worried it will be too late by the time I get them there.
I have completed the resume overhaul for job number one. Hip hip hooray!

28 August 2012

My resumé clinic was intimidating. I now have to think of things I accomplished in my former jobs, in which there was not a lot of feedback.

27 August 2012

Cisco has been adopted by a family with two young boys. I think they will have a ball playing together.

26 August 2012

I have collected the vitals on the 11 library and archival type job postings I want to apply for. Exciting times!
Yesterday was the yearly open house at the cat shelter that supplies the Petsmart where I work. There were fewer cats this year than last but that doesn't mean there wasn't a cat behind every potted plant out on the back deck. The house is tiny and smelly and full of one eyed of earless or otherwise unadoptable cats. There is a little isolation room in the back for the sick kittens to heal up. I asked where my former charge, the beautiful Molly liked to hang out and found her in the bedroom, on my second try, hiding under the night stand. I spoke to her and she looked at me sideways and then came out for a little pat. I think it's possible she might have remembered me. She is painfully shy.

25 August 2012

Waiting on Monday when I can get to the university careers centre for guidance on resumes and cover letters. The library jobs for the school year have been posted. There are many of them and I want one, both in order to improve my application for library school and to pay for my cat's dental work. Tips are welcome.

24 August 2012

My parents were very excited that I finished my paper. We opened a bottle of champagne and drank it way past my bedtime. My mom took me out to eat fancy little cakes today. My professor wrote me the nicest e-mail, beginning with congratulations in capital letters and then telling me I am a talented writer and hoping that this will be the beginning of a future filled with many papers. She will have my eternal gratitude, impatient academic overachiever that she is, for having the empathetic imagination to be patient with me while nursing me through two years of writing troubles, from not being able to finish a paper to writing a twenty page paper.

23 August 2012

I had a dream in which Prince Harry was giving me a piggy back while wearing a fancy dress military uniform in a palace. Lighthearted dreams when I have been very not lighthearted.
And I'm done. Hallelujah. I am now going to drink a beer.
Saw Cisco at the cat shelter today. He curled up on my purse and closed his eyes. He doesn't like being there. He has a massive hate on for the tabby cat there.
Now on to the first of two conclusions. I did some 1 am brainstorming and am off to the races on the first one. For completion after I visit the cats this morning.

22 August 2012

I am on to the last section on my paper, starring Socrates in Plato's Phaedrus.

21 August 2012

My mom told my dad I was a good listener and very supportive earlier today. She said I would make a good councillor. I didn't have much but I gave it what I had.
Wearing a big sweater and writing. The weather has turned grey.
My mom came home from her psychiatrist in tears because the doctor told her she shouldn't go back to work. She is more present but too fragile. She has a new antidepressant to try. Her last antidepressant made her not present and gave her a lot of difficulty making decisions. This one is from an older class of drugs. I haven't seen her cry like this since we lived in Ontario and we were away from her family and my dad was working all the time. She's generally good at picking up and going on and at least she isn't sleeping all the time, which she has done when she was depressed but on medication previously.
My mom has taken to calling her dog my dog as she will only walk with me. She is jealous of an honour I do not wish to have.

19 August 2012

Many tears later my mother and I are getting somewhere.
I didn't get too attached but I am still crying. I didn't cry when my first cat died.
help
Those dining room chairs are ugly but fucking expensive. I offered to replace them but she just referred to general irremediable disaster.
My mother doesn't like me when I'm working. She says I'm like a totally different person when I just sit around and knit. Knitting is fine but it is boring. She likes it when I am her housewife.
My mom is really depressed. She is off her antidepressant and on mood stabilizers, basically an oxymoron. She has been getting worse for years since she began seeing her current psychiatrist, who is well-respected by my doctor, who was her student. My mom has trouble connecting with therapists, including psychologists, which she has tried, so isn't willing to dump her psychiatrist, although the psychiatrist tried to dump her a year or two ago. My doctor has said that I can be another pair of eyes, like a nurse, but my mom isn't about to be totally honest with me. She hides her feelings until she breaks down.
The parents have returned. They are focusing on how good it is to see me and not the mayhem of a morning with the animals all running around. The dog would not go for a walk.

18 August 2012

How's this for an adoption profile for Cisco?

I am composed of 80% purr and 20% speed. I love to play and be part of a family (including other animals). I also like to snuggle, especially at bedtime.
It is so nice to be getting cat snuggles again... from both of my buddies. Play-fighting seems to have lightened the burden of some jealousy things.
My professor responded to my barely rephrased facts from Anne Carson with an "Excelsior!" finish the damn thing up. She loves the facts. We, all three of us, are in love with difference.

17 August 2012

Overcame sweltering heat, a little cat actively scratching the dining room chairs, and jitters from a cup of coffee I should not have drunk to get back on track, paper-wise. The evening is cooling off just enough for the animals to get up from their prone positions.
Why is it that when my best work is getting done I find myself at 3 o'clock sweaty and disgusting?
Just read a paper written by a former friend for the American Political Science Association's annual meeting as an example of a close reading. I really don't agree with her approach to the subject matter, in that I don't find it interesting or useful to the purposes to which it is set. I look to scholarship as a way of finding what is different from myself, not of collapsing distances and writing myself large over my subject. Plus her prose style is repetitious and inconcise. She gets away with this because she has opinions, opinions she lacks the self awareness to see past, and because revisionism is allowed.

16 August 2012

I have had it with the kitten but he is lying on the table where I am working purring in the cool of the fan. He is relaxed with his neck stretched out and his eyes closed.
The kitten is playing enthusiastically with a catnip pillow. I was worried he wouldn't have as much fun without a playmate but he is having a lot of fun. Little body squirming every which way.

15 August 2012

The kitten is cute but the cat is empathetic. I hope it is not because he is in pain because of his mouth.
Being lonely AND limited success writing is definitely depressing :(
The little cat scratched the back of one of the leather dining room chairs, hopping up on the top of it, a space so small no creature has any business being up there. I feel awful.
Yesterday's work was not too terrifying but I still have big blanks and incongruencies floating up. I think I will take the easy road and allow the easiest form of organization to prevail over my revised logic.

14 August 2012

Cisco so wants to be accepted by the big cat. It's heart rending. I consulted my sister, whose first roommate got a kitten when our first cat was in his teens and she said that after a few months they would play together and the little one could sneak up on the big one for sleepy cuddles. Our first cat used to spoon with my sister under the covers in her bed, their heads side by side on the pillow. It always looked very indecent.

13 August 2012

I finished reading the end of my book again so I guess tomorrow I can run with it...
The little cat is crying in his tiny little voice that her wants to go out my window.
The kitten has been pouncing on the big cat's very regal behind in an effort to get him to play. There were meowed protests at 5 am. We all slept in as a result, and then the big cat kindly sniffed the little cat's nose when we finally got up.

12 August 2012

Metta's tea is called xian cau ca. It translates to something like "thearch-ess grass tea." Of course he knows pinyin, he knows everything, including antiquated eastern systems of Chinese notation.

He saw me off with a Haagen Dazs bar (fancy ice cream being the way to my heart); sticky rice, peanuts and mushrooms wrapped up in a banana leaf; a Taiwanese herbal headache remedy; and a little extra money ("so you can buy some sweets"). Just because he is extra generous. I gave him a hug and promised to e-mail.
Being pursued by the dog and the big cat the little cat punched out the screen in my bedroom window and went leaping out into the morning. Luckily slip on shoes were by the doorway and I made good time. He purred when I caught up to him. Once the big cat did the same thing at 1 am and I couldn't find him. He had to spend the whole night outside. The dog and I found him in the morning crouched between the fence and retaining wall at the bottom of the garden, scared but unhurt. He ran straight for the door.

11 August 2012

The little cat likes to file his claws on the palm tree in the living room.
Rubbed chili in my nose. I feel like a dragon.

The little cat and big cat played together on the big chair. Cute times two!
The little cat gave me snuggles this morning when I woke up and then pounced on my toes under the covers. Cute attack!

10 August 2012

I have been cooking vegetarian this week, inspired by Yotam Ottolenghi, a columnist at The Guardian and author of the book Plenty. I highly recommend his recipes for fun in the kitchen mixing middle eastern spices and things, as well as using whichever produce looks best at your local market.
The little cat is trying to snuggle up to the big cat again. The big cat meowed from under the covers and moved.

09 August 2012

Now most definitely touching, feet to bum.
Two kitties. Barely touching.
Two cats one couch. Sleeping in cuteness.

08 August 2012

The little cat has a strong interest in watching me cook. I have been trying to teach him to stay off the counter but he is just too curious. I'm going to put "interest in cooking" in his future adoption profile.
The little cat rolls over onto his back to let me rub his chest. So much cuteness, so much purring.
All of the animals are sleeping. I am rereading the end of Eros the Bittersweet trying to envision the final shape of my paper. It will deal with Plato's Phaedrus and living in the moment.
Both cats were on the bed at 5 am this morning. It was idyllic, with a subtle underlying tension. The big cat by my head, and then at his place on the outside corner of the bed, the little cat by my knees. The dog was sleeping peacefully in her kennel.

07 August 2012

Passing thunderstorm. No loss of power and only the dog is scared, but she is shaking. Cisco is lying next to her in the bathroom towel basket, purring loudly.
Cisco reminds me of Luna, a black girl cat of about his size who was my first foster charge. Both of them let me hold them and made my life more fun (though maybe it is a passing phase in catdom?) I cleaned the black stuff off of his nose. His tail still needs a bath.



Both cats are now sleeping. If I stroke my cat whenever I walk by his station on the back of the couch he purrs. The dog is hanging with the little cat and myself. She moves whenever I move.
Two cats in one room with no hissing. The big cat was even thinking about joining the little cat on the bed. Bravo cats!
dog sleeping. little cat sleeping. big cat po'd in the other room.
I am trying to teach Cisco some manners. First up: to stay off the counter. Unlike my cat, who hates being manhandled and is therefore easier to dissuade, Cisco loves the little cuddle he gets every time I pick him up and move him.

06 August 2012

Cisco keeps trying to eat my food. This morning it was Metta's bean curd; this evening it was parmesan cheese.
So I had a really good day. The dog walked, the cat walked, the other cat recoiled in shock. I am happily sitting on the couch with my cat while Cisco does laps around the place. We have discovered that Cisco is indeed chattering and are administering antibiotics. I am really happy even though I am sombred by my cat's dislike of sharing his territory with anyone else. I worked really well today too! More work this evening.
More Chinese words: peach is taozi and cherry is yingtao.
Apparently my cat's food is tastier. Which is good, because our boy Cisco is very skinny.

keeping an ear out for the dog

05 August 2012

Metta brought me yellow bean curd and a sauce. It looks very, very authentic.
Cisco the ginger cat is playing with the dog. I haven't seen the dog this active ever. There is a lot of swatting and dodging going on. Here I thought it was going to be all about me getting cuddles.
I have foster custody of the drooly ginger kitten. He is making his purred introduction to the place. oops... my cat has woken up and is yeowling. Both the cat and dog are staring at him. Wish me luck!

04 August 2012

My parents have left town for two weeks' vacation. I can drink bourbon with impunity.

03 August 2012

I have been spectacularly lazy, watching the Olympics on TV.

02 August 2012

ABC is reporting that Holmes' psychiatrist had him on her radar as a threat to others. A look at ABC's website today reveals a much more speculative account via the Associated Press. In any case, the University of Colorado has hired a federal prosecutor to look in to how it handled the case.

01 August 2012

My sister wants her boyfriend to surprise her with a kitten. One that acts like a ten year old cat. I cannot believe the degree to which she does not care about the feline personality, and the wonderfulness of choosing one's own cat. She just wants grey tabby baby cuteness that she can forget about while she's at work all day.
I think my goldfish is on his last legs. He is spending too much time gasping at the surface and floats up when he is trying to root around in the gravel.