29 April 2013

So. This week I am exercising. If I lose any weight I will consider keeping the new pills; if I gain weight I'm going back to the old ones.

I walked up to my appointment herding cats this afternoon. I made all the cats purr except for the baby kittens who I wanted to let sleep. Two cats sat in my lap. I thought about how nice it would be to have three black and white cats you could only tell apart by their disparate markings.

When I came home my mom had been crying. She is worried she won't get her old job back even though she has gotten cards in the mail from her principal every month.

The dog is sitting in the other chair, keeping me company as I type this. I am having a beer I was going to save for next weekend on ice because the dog and I are on the same page about a crying mom. I don't think she's getting better. She seems to be getting more dependent. Instead of mindfulness classes I want to send her to Womens' Studies 101.
I talked to my nurse. Just so you know. I am taking care of myself and being taken care of.

27 April 2013

I could deal with random paranoia; I don't like this current feeling of being ambiently scared for no reason. It happens in the afternoon. I tie it to the reduction in my old medication working its way through my system. I can sleep now, which is great, but I've gained another 5 lbs and my favourite jeans don't fit :(

26 April 2013

I am inhabiting sleeping animal central. Mom is away and the dog wanted to go for two walks today but I told her I had to study. It was extremely difficult, she was persistent. I studied until I became paranoid and then I did the dishes.

24 April 2013

So. I have read a book on Kierkegaard, sung Zou Bisou to a cat to get her to come out of hiding, and traded tea with a shop girl as we each evangelized our favourite blends. I now have a fair amount of pretty amazing tea that I have been drinking non-stop, except now I can drink coffee too. Cue the citrusy-floral Ethopian coffee that doesn't come in decaf. I have been listening to music and falling asleep by myself, but I still sleep 11-12 hours. Tomorrow I walk and I write.

15 April 2013

Cleaned up the green algae bloom in my fish bowl indicating all is once again well with the microorganisms that break down ammonia. My fish is like 3 years old and still going.

13 April 2013

It's nice when my cat misses me and curls up next to me to sleep at night. Then this morning as we were waking up he stretched out on his back with his feet tossed over my shoulder and head at my hip: the ultimate in kitty trust.

07 April 2013

After waking up every hour until midnight I took some of my old medication. Not with food at dinner time, so no time for akathesia to set in, but it helped me sleep.

06 April 2013

I am having trouble sleeping but either way I did the medication thing it was going to suck. So far no paranoia, just a cat running around at 6 am shredding all available paper.

05 April 2013

It's 8:00 and I'm not in bed :)
I quit my old medication last night because the low dose was making me miserably restless, as it did when I was going on it. I feel good, and hopefully that continues over the next several days. Maybe the paranoid glimpses won't hang on? I am falling asleep because I am tired, not because my medication makes me for the first time since I've been on medication. Hopefully my caffeine sensitivity goes away now too so that I can drink all the roasts of coffee. I may decide to lie about this all and pretend to still be taking the old medication to smooth relations with my doctor or I may tell him I was following his suggestions which I originally overruled on account of his wanting to drop the old medication before I got to a therapeutic dose of the new one. My memory has gaps this semester from all the med changes; it is time to stabilize before I have to write my final exam.

04 April 2013

Did not get an interview at the hospital.

03 April 2013

The professor had his books organized by colour.
The professor I was talking to today told me about waking up and thinking he was dead, and going to tell his lover who was on the couch, and being told, "no, you are waking me up." Sometimes we crazies have cute delusions. The professor and I are on the same medication but it is causing him sleep problems. I provided my recipes for sleep.
The sleepy animals have surrounded me.

01 April 2013

so pleased my black violas returned for spring