30 July 2013

Crazy talk with my mom about premenstrual symptoms, my lack thereof, and the false information given to her by police when I was psychotic.

29 July 2013

Lots of people view my blog every day now that it is linked to my Twitter, especially spam-bots from China and Russia. Anyone else should feel free to break from the protocol of silence and leave a comment.

28 July 2013

Not only one, but two professors have agreed to let me turn in papers in September, thus putting my academic house in order. I am pleased for myself. I am so happy that I am now able to work in a way that is progressing. I am not one of those people who is able to function rationally through depression. And I got to be there for my Opi.

20 July 2013

I thought I lost my mom's dog today. She was having a tough morning, spending a good number of minutes sniffing the grass in front of our house before I told her "no" and she went on her walk. The dog reminded me of my mom in her obsessiveness. When we got to the dog park I went along her usual route, counterclockwise, and ran in to some dogs. Zoe saw them and balked. I couldn't see her, but instead of running through them, as she would usually do, or around them, as she would in a pinch, she ran the other way around all the way down to the other end of the dog park. I thought she might have gone home, so started walking back that way, before eventually following her. She ran to greet me. I was very happy that she waited for me, and so I used the word "wait," which she knows, over and over in praising her. We are all home safe now.

19 July 2013

Hello library lovers!

A First Nation in my home province just lost their beloved Thestalalh Library to a fire. I found out through one of their tribal councillors Jess Housty on Twitter. She is very kind, works with young people, and talks about how it is impossible not to feel "huge gratitude and high spirits" surrounded by "so many amazing people." Jess' tweets make me happy and fill me with hope. Canada's government tried to destroy First Nations' language, culture and family structure under the guise of "helping." Given this history of racism, First Nations people face obstacles that those in the majority culture do not. The strength and resilience of their communities matters, and makes a big difference in individual lives. If you can help send books, or a make a small donation to make the library better than ever, please visit www.bellabellalibrary.com. Thank you for listening, the more people know the better we will treat one another in the future.

18 July 2013

Today I was sitting on a bench in the local mall with my beer waiting for my mom to buy some bread and I met some elderly Punjabi speaking ladies. I said "satskreeakal" which is hello and one of them patted me on the back and asked me if I spoke Punjabi. Unfortunately the answer is no. They were lovely though, really lovely, and I will ask Rup, a Pestmart manager, to teach me "how are you" next time I see him.

17 July 2013

Today was my cousin Nicholas' sixth birthday. We got together at Omi and Opi's for cake and gift giving. I got him some Mr Men books, none of which he already had, including some to make sense of the girl down the street. Lego and Playmobile Starwars stuff was a big hit (I got shuttled off to play some!) but the best birthday present ever was the ride on, steering enabled, hand-brake equipped car he got from Omi, who didn't have a 6th birthday party because World War Two was going on. Now, the best part of the afternoon was when Nicholas asked me why I looked sad and I asked him if I could tell him a secret: "sometimes my mom frustrates me." He said, mine too. He is an empathetic and kind six year old! He also said that he doesn't get church. "Even when I go with Omi it's just like blah, blah, blah." "Maybe when you get older the words will mean something," I said, trying to be diplomatic. Omi goes to church every day. Anyhow, the boy is right spoiled but he is a keeper.

16 July 2013

I opened up my bee hive, by myself, wearing shorts... and my gloves. I wanted to see how they were progressing on the frames that we had rearranged to give them more exposure. They were doing very well at collecting honey on them! And I didn't get stung. Good bees.
My cat therapy worked and I received snuggles.

15 July 2013

I was worried I hurt my goldfish when I was trying to scoop him out of his bowl for a water change. I felt really really awful. He seems to be doing fine though. Since I started feeding him a new, less objectively healthy food he has gotten a new lease on life, becoming much more lively. He's made it better than four years now and is a beautiful swimmer.
My cat has cuddled me once since his surgery. I have been lying on the floor next to him not touching just to hear him purr. At least he is purring. I think his surgery and the problems with his medication afterwards were very traumatic for him.

09 July 2013

My psychiatrist was right psyched about our bees. He also said that I was "psychologically minded," which I took as a big complement. I hope that I get over my drinking thing soon though, because he was so proud I was not abusing my benzodiazipine prescription.

08 July 2013

Our bees have the much-hated Verroa mites. We spotted one large female by accident and found the itty bitty males crawling around in the debris tray. With the addition of the super for honey the 4 o'clock bee meeting has grown in magnitude to become actually quite frightening to witness. The bees look as though they are getting ready to swarm and leave the hive but they have more than enough space and have not produced any new queens, the two factors that would lead them to do so. Bob the bee guy doesn't even know what it's about. While scraping the extraneous burr comb from the frames we found some that contained honey. It was more floral than any wildflower honey you would find in a store and quite exciting to sample for the first time. My mom and I are debating whether to smoke or not to smoke the bees and whether or not to wear gloves. Neither of us got stung last time, and I have opened the hive twice since the first time that I got stung. It's true my gloves are an encumbrance and stick to the frames when I am trying to put them back in the body of the hive.

04 July 2013

I grew up very independent with few close ties, but now, at 30, being alone causes me anxiety. Even when the rest of my life is going well.